Tuesday, April 9, 2013

New Resume

My resume would be much more interesting if it wasn't just a listing of all the places I've worked.

Seriously.  I am more than my job title.  And I have skills that don't fit on a typical resume.  Like my rap skills.  I have complete and total knowledge of all the tracks on Blueprint 3, Some classic Run DMC, a little Biggie and Tupac, I've recently locked down Rick Ross' Hustlin' and of course, my classic Jay, Can I Get A.

And all you want to know is what computer programs I know? LAME.

Also, I'm really could at 'Liking' things.  I can Like things on Facebook.  I can Like things on Pinterest. I can Favorite (which is just a fancy word for Like) things on Instagram. I'm really fucking good at liking things.

Plus, I drink coffee like a fucking boss.  Like.A.Boss. Try and find someone who drinks coffee better than I do. Just Try. And if you think you have, I will throw down and tell you that is a subjective measurement that cannot be proven or dis-proven.  It's Schrodinger's Cat mofos.

Oh yeah. I can throw down with the nerdy references. Add that to my resume.

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