Tuesday, June 4, 2013

A letter to my husband

Marriage is about compromise, give and take, and respect for each other.  With that in mind, I would like to offer up this, open letter to my husband:

Dear Man I Married,
     I adore you.  I hope I make that clear on a regular basis.  And I'll support you in anything you do.  But you better have been kidding about getting those Crocs or we.are.OVER. I took you for better or worse, but plastic footwear is a whole other level.  And it was NOT covered in our wedding vows.
     I offer up no complaint for any of your other footwear, I even compromised on the boat shoes...even though I don't expect you to actually BE on a boat anytime soon. And that one time I met those really horrible people who were all wearing matching boat shoes.. But I can get over that.
     I will not get over crocs.  Not.Ever. Unless you are gardening or dealing with bio-hazardous materials you have no reason for plastic footwear.  NONE.  Which is why I'm 99% sure you're kidding.  But then I never expected you to bring me strawberry ice cream either.  That 1% is keeping me awake at night.  (That and that horrible joke you told about spiders the other day.) The minuscule chance that the next time I open the door for the UPS man, he's going to hand me a box stamped with CAUTION: Plastic shoes contained within. CONSULT a marriage counselor at once.
      In closing, I'd like to remind you that a marriage, like any good relationship, is based on respect, and I DO not respect crocs. I'd also like to remind you that I don't root for the Red Sox.
 Yours in wedded bliss


  1. I recently read an article about why doctor's wear crocs. It's mostly because of some patented material that allows you to wash off blood instead of getting stains. You know, just something to consider in case he gets them.

  2. Hahaha! Based on no change in your Facebook relationship status, I'm assuming that Crocs have yet to enter your life.